Yes. In light of my previous "Me." post, I'm taking some risks here. Putting myself out there more. Not just for honesty reasons, but for my own personal journaling. I don't know why but there is something about blog posting that makes me feel more obligated to come through. When I publicly promise something I feel more pressure to follow through because others are "watching". Call me crazy, call me an "over-sharer", but I'm just doing what I need to do.
So here comes the thing I never blog about.
My Figure
Yuh-huh. The big "F" word for me. If you've known me long enough you'd know that this has been an on-going self image issue I've dealt with since childhood. The one thing that I have accepted will haunt me my whole life. It's never going to go away. I've never not had to worry about my body and I'll never stop having to. Those are just the cards I was dealt. I care about my image (unfortunately). And even though I feel I can be vain at times, I TRULY feel that it's just something I've always had to babysit to feel good about myself. I can't change that. I've tried. I've tried to just not care. I've tried to focus on my strengths and it's always beating me in the back of the head. I care...I just do. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty times in my life where I felt my body/size/weight were just great. But I had to work at it every.single.time. There has never been a time in my life that I have been in good physical shape and not had to work for it or suffer and sacrifice. That's just how I was made. I can't get away with just eating whatever I want. I can't get away with not working out. So with my weakness comes a great strength in my life...I get to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. I get to reap the rewards of my hard work and self discipline. There's the silver lining in it all.
And here I stand. 2 months post partum after triplets. I'm about 30 lbs over what I'd like to be (I was about 10 lbs over when I got pregnant). I am truly struggling with motivation. I'm craving ALL THE TIME. And I'm so exhausted taking care of the 4 kiddos that I fail to take advantage of my free time to get the ball rolling. I'm really sucking. I have always had a problem with procrastination. And this is what I have been listening to for the last month:
-I'll start next week cuz it'll be a fresh Monday and a new week
-I'll start on this date because it's an even number
-I'll start when the triplets are 2 months old
-I'll start on Erik's birthday
-I'll start after we eat the meal this family brought for us
-I'll start after we have this or that party
-I'll start tomorrow cuz I really want a Dew to help me stay up tonight
-I'll wait til we don't have any treats in the house and our soda is gone
See what I'm saying? I'm having that lazy loser to listen to all the time. I can't get rid of her!! So here I am blogging. My dad once told me something when I was about 14 and told him if I had one wish it would be that I could wake up in the morning in a different body. He responded with,
In order to do this the right way I need to list my goals right? The rules. So after having tried every diet in the book over the years, this is what I've come up with.
-Slow Squats during every burping time
-Two brisk stroller walks in the park on the weekend (at least)
So there you have it. If you haven't noticed...I've been super camera shy lately. You'll hardly see me in ANY pics unless it's just of my face. I don't want to miss out on being in pics with my cute little newborns anymore. But I saw a pic of myself the other day and I hit rock bottom. I cried.
I must be out of my mind posting this pic. But here's what kicked my butt:
And here's what I want to get back to. This was taken almost exactly 2 years ago.
...AND I wanna have "my guns" back...( also taken 2 yrs ago)
So here comes the thing I never blog about.
My Figure
Yuh-huh. The big "F" word for me. If you've known me long enough you'd know that this has been an on-going self image issue I've dealt with since childhood. The one thing that I have accepted will haunt me my whole life. It's never going to go away. I've never not had to worry about my body and I'll never stop having to. Those are just the cards I was dealt. I care about my image (unfortunately). And even though I feel I can be vain at times, I TRULY feel that it's just something I've always had to babysit to feel good about myself. I can't change that. I've tried. I've tried to just not care. I've tried to focus on my strengths and it's always beating me in the back of the head. I care...I just do. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty times in my life where I felt my body/size/weight were just great. But I had to work at it every.single.time. There has never been a time in my life that I have been in good physical shape and not had to work for it or suffer and sacrifice. That's just how I was made. I can't get away with just eating whatever I want. I can't get away with not working out. So with my weakness comes a great strength in my life...I get to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. I get to reap the rewards of my hard work and self discipline. There's the silver lining in it all.
And here I stand. 2 months post partum after triplets. I'm about 30 lbs over what I'd like to be (I was about 10 lbs over when I got pregnant). I am truly struggling with motivation. I'm craving ALL THE TIME. And I'm so exhausted taking care of the 4 kiddos that I fail to take advantage of my free time to get the ball rolling. I'm really sucking. I have always had a problem with procrastination. And this is what I have been listening to for the last month:
-I'll start next week cuz it'll be a fresh Monday and a new week
-I'll start on this date because it's an even number
-I'll start when the triplets are 2 months old
-I'll start on Erik's birthday
-I'll start after we eat the meal this family brought for us
-I'll start after we have this or that party
-I'll start tomorrow cuz I really want a Dew to help me stay up tonight
-I'll wait til we don't have any treats in the house and our soda is gone
See what I'm saying? I'm having that lazy loser to listen to all the time. I can't get rid of her!! So here I am blogging. My dad once told me something when I was about 14 and told him if I had one wish it would be that I could wake up in the morning in a different body. He responded with,
"If you woke up with the body you wanted, you wouldn't enjoy it the same as if you'd worked hard to get it. It always feels better when you've worked hard to get the things you want."
As much as I hate hearing those words in my head after all these years, he's right. So here I am. Starting off not on a Monday, but on a Tuesday. An odd numbered day, with no significance, a 12 pack of Mtn Dew in the fridge and Oreo cookies in our pantry.
In order to do this the right way I need to list my goals right? The rules. So after having tried every diet in the book over the years, this is what I've come up with.
The No's
No Soda
No Sweets
No Carbs
No Fast Food
No Carbs
No Fast Food
No Snacking on Candy
The Do's
Protein Shakes Every Morning
Protein at every meal
Only snack on yogurt, string cheese & fruits
Drink 4 jugs of water a day
Drink energy packet drinks any time I'm hungry and wanting to snack ( I lose a lot more weight when I pack on the caffeine)
I am going to do something that I've never done before this time. I'm going to allow myself 2 guilty pleasures. The occasional Energy Drink (Rockstar Juiced-Guava Flavor) & Starbursts. I say occasional because I don't wanna put a number to it. I don't want to have one a day but I can't promise one a week. But I need a guilty pleasure to keep me a little sane. I'm coming off of being able to eat the world for the last 10 months to grow 3 babies!
Last, the workout plan. This is where you might laugh but it's what will work for me. I've always been lucky in one way...my body responds extremely well to exercise. I can do a consistent routine for 2 weeks straight and see results right away. I've always had that one bonus...the problem is my being able to stick with it. I always have spurts. I'll do it for several weeks and then stop. Then start up again. I really want to break this habit and keep it going if I can. Therefore, I need a more long term plan this time. So here it is.
-Turbo Jam Work out 5 days a week for 4 weeks
-100 Quick Ab Crunches after every baby feeding-Slow Squats during every burping time
-Two brisk stroller walks in the park on the weekend (at least)
-Some cardio at the gym when I get a chance (IF I get a chance)
-Move to "Insanity" or "P90X" after the 4 weeksFinal Goal...to be at my goal weight by my 30th birthday, October 3rd.
So there you have it. If you haven't noticed...I've been super camera shy lately. You'll hardly see me in ANY pics unless it's just of my face. I don't want to miss out on being in pics with my cute little newborns anymore. But I saw a pic of myself the other day and I hit rock bottom. I cried.
I must be out of my mind posting this pic. But here's what kicked my butt:
And here's what I want to get back to. This was taken almost exactly 2 years ago.
...AND I wanna have "my guns" back...( also taken 2 yrs ago)
Now, feel free to help kick my butt into shape. I've had friends offer to go walking with me, hit the gym...all that. And I'm all for it. I need you to help keep me in gear so I have someone to answer to.
8 comments:
I also struggled with this a lot after pregnancy. I went from teaching Pilates/Yoga multiple times a week to feeling like I didn't have the strength to lift my leg after childbirth!
It is hard to watch the body transform, but over time I grew to love the change and appreciate it. Plus, I started teaching classes again after 6 weeks, so that helped!
Walking the parkway three times a week last summer also made a big difference. We need to start up our walking group again so you and the kids can join us and stay motivated.
And for the record, you look just amazing in all the photos. You really do. You look happy, and that's the most important part, even if you don't feel happy about your shape.
Pregnancy is hard a a bod... especially an extreme pregnancy as yours. Just remember how much time it took to put it all on, and give yourself just as much time to get it all off.
Good luck... I have faith in you!
I think you look great for just having babies. We live right by each other so if you ever need a walking friend, I'd be happy to join. I'd love to walk with you, since I usually just go alone with my baby. Let me know!!
I just love reading you blog! You look absolutely amazing after just having triplets. I seriously think we were meant to be best friends because we are SO much alike!
I just started the 17 day diet today so hopefully that helps. I wish my body responded better to exercise but maybe it's because I'm really inconsistent. Ha!
Good luck!
To tell you the truth I really haven't met very many women who haven't struggled with this after childbirth and you had 3! So if it makes you feel better you're in good company.
I had almost the exact same experience as you, from not letting pictures of myself get posted to hating how I looked and even down to seeing myself in a photo and going, "Oh heck no! Is that me!?!?" type thing.
I exercised like crazy for 4 months and lost like NOTHING. So, you're very blessed in that way.
In May I went on the hcg diet which is total kick butt and I wouldn't recommend it to just anyone but it works and I'm now only 7 lbs. away from my pre-pregnancy weight which was my target goal.
So it IS possible because if I can do it ANYONE can do it! And you're lucky because it sounds like you already know what works for you and what doesn't!
Where there's a strong will, there's a way so best of luck and if you need to bounce ideas off anyone you can with me. :)
So you may or may not remember me from highschool but Im Sarah Nickell and ket me just say Im glad to have come across your blog and you look AMAZING!! Your family is so darling!!! Come work out with me at Crossroads in Layton anytime, my brother in law is a trainer there and can give you some pointers!!!
Jess you really do look amazing and so so happy.. You make being a mom look so easy. I look up to you a lot. Good luck on everything I'm sure you'll be back to normal in no time!! You are beautiful.
Forget "For Just Having Triplets"! You look great period! Flat stomach, think legs...you look better than I do normally! Ha ha!
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