"Ferberizing"

If you haven't heard of the new NBC show "Up All Night", it's about a couple with twins and well...by the title I'm sure you get the rest. Well, we have triplets NOT twins and I'm here to tell you, NBC that it doesn't have to be that way.

Remember the line "we Ferberized him" from the movie Meet The Fockers? Well, that's exactly what I did with Kayson and it was a success. In no more than 3 nights. I swear by it. And many of my friends have benefited from my sharing it as well.

So far, we've lived strictly by the BabyWise book for the girls. It's worked great. Our daytime schedule is squeaky clean and perfect. And the girls sleep from 9pm to 8am without any nighttime feedings and have been doing so since they were 3 months old. (although their adjusted age was only 1 month old). HOWEVER, Saydee & Hallie are having some trouble with waking a few times during the night...particularly early morning...and they need their binkies to soothe back to sleep. Unfortunately they aren't old enough to put their bink back in themselves so between going in there for 2 different babies at different times, I'm a little worn out. Bring on the Ferbernator!!!

For those of you interested in helping your babies (and yourself) get the sleep you both deserve, I'm going to share what has worked for millions...including myself. And I'm hoping that I'm able to tackle it times 3 this time. First, it's important that you understand my reasons behind this. Babies are capable of putting/soothing themselves back to sleep by 6 to 8 weeks of age. When adults wake, they are able to roll over and go back to sleep. Babies are capable of the same, they just need the loving help and patience of their parents to introduce that to them. They deserve that uninterrupted sleep. After 2 months of age, babies don't NEED to eat in the middle of the night...just like adults don't need to. They only think they need a bottle to go back to sleep because that's how they've been trained. Last, some may think it's cruel to attempt the "cry it out" method. But I assure you, it's not for very long...only a few minutes at a time. And it usually only takes 3 to 5 days at the most and then it's over. IT'S WORTH IT!!! So here it is:

Step 1

Never put baby to bed asleep. We often make the crucial mistake of rocking or feeding a baby to sleep and then tiptoeing them into their bed, holding your breath, praying they won't wake. This doesn't teach them how to fall asleep or fall BACK asleep on their own in their bed and you become HUGE victim to them NEEDING you (or rocking or food or swing, etc.) in order to fall asleep. So rule number one...always put them to bed awake and sleepy.

Step 2

Put your baby to bed and leave the room. Even if they are crying you need to stay away for a certain period of time to allow them the chance to fall asleep.

Step 3

When you go in to visit your baby, NEVER pick them up. You can give them a binky, rub them, pat them but leave them in the bed. Never stay for longer than a minute and try to leave while they are still awake. The sole purpose of your visits are to let them know you are there, everything is ok and that they are ok. It's a reassurance they need but it's not a way to PUT them back to sleep.

Step 4

When the baby starts to cry (if they aren't crying already after you left) start by visiting them once...then leave after one minute. If still crying, increase the amount of time you wait before going in. For example, the first time you go in after 3 minutes...then leave. Then go in after 5 minutes...then leave...then go in after 10 minutes. Don't increase any longer than the 10 minutes the first few nights. After that just go every 10 minutes until they fall asleep. Any subsequent times during the night that they wake, you start again with 3 minutes...then 5 then 10. Usually by the 2nd night you're having to go in less and less and I remember with Kayson I would only have to go in once or twice before he fell asleep.

Timing

The first night you apply this method, start with 3 minutes/5 minutes/10 minutes.

The second night leave for 5 minutes/10 minutes/12 minutes.

Do this for each night after. According to Ferber, the child should establish this between nights 3 and 5 and should no longer require visits at night to fall back asleep. If they do wake from time to time, just always follow this method of waiting a minimum amount of time and increasing the length of time before you go in again. They usually have it figured out pretty well. They know you're there for them and that they are ok.

BabyWise

For those of you interested in the BabyWise method, which we also LOVE...mostly because it's NECESSARY when you have multiples, I'll share that as well. Honestly, with having multiples the BabyWise has saved us. It's allowed us to keep our girls on the same schedule so that we aren't staggering feedings or naps at different times. If you do the math, it would have us completely handcuffed all day with baby care without any breaks or time to do anything else. I love having them all on the exact same schedule and it's brought so much organization and peace to our home. Let's just say the girls were only home about a week before I had to apply this into our lives for my own sanity. The girls have been SO happy since. They know what to expect and a predictable schedule has made them such happy babies!

BabyWise:

Basically all that this method teaches is that there should be a certain order in your routine and it should never be strayed from. You can be flexible with it to meet your needs but it's important you keep the basic order of things.

1.Feed Time

2. Wake Time

3. Sleep Time

ALWAYS in this order. Babies are often sleepy after a feeding...and it takes work keeping them awake after a feeding sometimes, but it's SOO important that you keep this order. I learned quickly how out of hand our life with multiples got when I didn't follow this order. If we allowed them to fall asleep right after a feeding...or whenever they wanted...we found that they would "cluster nap". Basically they'd sleep for 20, wake for 15, sleep for 30, and so on until the next feeding. When you have 3 babies doing this at different times you're basically up and down for 3 hours straight tending to someone. I allowed that for 2 days before I lost my mind. I couldn't eat, shower, use the bathroom, talk on the phone...let alone take care of my 4 year old.

Now, they eat right when they wake...I keep them awake until about an hour and a half before their next feeding and then I take them all up to bed. It doesn't always go perfect...but we try. And if we ever have to leave the house, sometimes wake time gets skipped because they sleep a lot in the car. No big deal. We want to be flexible when we need to but try to stick to the same routine so things don't get too out of hand. So far this has worked wonders. It also cuts back on their daytime naptime sleep to allow more time for nighttime sleep. Almost as soon as we started this routine, the girls started sleeping through the night. Added bonus!

So there you have it. I haven't come up with any of this on my own. I've just found what works, chose to be disciplined enough to stick to it and not only has it made it easier to raise multiples...it has made for a happier more peaceful home. I'm grateful to those who've come up with these methods because we really believe that healthy sleep habits are so important when raising children with sane parents :)

Here's to Ferberizing our triplets!!