Sister. A Word With a World of Meaning

The following post is mostly for my sisters, our mother and myself. But for those of you who choose to read along, I hope that it will wiggle it's way into a tender spot of your own that you may hold as close & dear as I do.

The last sister was married this last week. And along with the happiness comes the softer side. My mother called me yesterday, with aching in her heart. Aching for a time when her daughters were young again, under her roof...missing carpets full of long hair, cat-like fights, and girly giggles echoing through her home. Mom, this post is for you...to read anytime you're missing your girls.

Jessie Poo-Lindsey Loo-Becca Boo

One cherished, timeless book/movie comes to mind when I think of our upbringing. Little Women. We had a house of 3 girls. 3 Girls with long thick hair. And as depicted in Little Women, each with their own shortcomings:

Jessica-The Independent one

Lindsey-The stubborn one

Becca-The Mean One

On the flip side:

Jessica-The Peacemaker

Lindsey-The Smart One

Becca-The Talented One

I could write a book with the adventures of our Triangle of Sisters-neverending with fights, hugs, laughs, jealousy, forgiveness, separations, homecomings, disappointment, unity...and love that can't be broken or changed by any of the above. But I'll settle with sharing a few fond memories of the life we remember, the stories that impacted our hearts forever, and pictures...that will show you the way we still see each other today.

Movie That Made Us

Movies we watched over and over...resulting in us acting them out. I'll never be able to watch these movies w/o thinking of my sisters.

The Princess Bride

The Man In The Moon

Anne of Green Gables

The Secret Garden

Things that made up our years:

Barbies-we'd turn every toy we had into Barbie furniture (rags=beds, jewelry boxes=dressers, clocks=tv's, rollerskates/shoeboxes=cars)

Bike "Cars"-we pretended they were Ferrari's and Corvettes when we'd ride our bikes, often trying to steer and maneuver as if we were driving a real car. Using stop signs and parking rules.

Patio House-We'd take EVERYTHING out of our bedroom and make a house on our patio. (the suitcase was always our tv) Not mom's favorite.

Sleepovers-We loved to make huts together and find places to sleep together in our house on the floor.

Mandarin Palace-Our mom's Friday night Special. Take out Chinese! (always the General's & Broccoli/Beef)

Playing Cars on blankets-We loved to use Flannel print blankets and make roads, houses, driveways, schools, churches with our cars. We loved to play cars! We'd pair up husband/wife cars

Albertson Movie Night-Mom would take us to Albertson's to pick out the dollar candy (Laffy Taffy & Airheads) and a movie to rent. We thought we were queens.

Lego Homes-We'd make layouts for home floor plans over and over and over...

Playing piano-We all loved playing piano...I remember a time we'd fight over taking turns

Hair braiding-One day I checked out a braiding movie from the Library and learned how to braid my sisters hair. From there on out I did their hair ALL THE TIME. It was always one of my jobs. I miss it.

Restaurant-We loved to play restaurant and order food and cook it for eachother. Game never lasted long enough though.

Dollar Theater-Our mom use to give us huge purses so we could sneak in popcorn, soda and Watermelon candies and Sour Patch candies to the Kaysville Dollar Theater for a fun night!

Washing Cars-Don't ask me why, but it would take 3 girls 3 to 4 hours to wash one car in the driveway.

Matching Church Dresses-Our mom loved to get us matching dresses for church. Partcularly for the holidays. We thought it was so cool back then haha!
Diary Fights-Oh this is good. When we'd get in fights we'd run and write the meanest things we could about each other in our diaries...we'd always sneak into them so we knew it was a great way to get things off your chest.

Hiding Possessions-When we'd fight, SOME OF US liked to go "steal" something from another bedroom and hide it. Leaving the other person guessing what it was.

Christmas Eve Traditions-Egg nog with dinner in our fancy Christmas Mugs. We always exchanged our sister gifts on Christmas Eve and slept together in my bed as we got older and didn't have the same room. We always woke up to Manheim Steamroller.

Dances-I loved doing my sister's hair for high school dances

The Environmental Center-Lots of memories walking in the fields with Lindsey picking flowers and making trails in the mountains. Balloon toss, Pinatas, every game you can think of.

The Bunk-we had too much fun with the bunk bed, I'd hang down at night to talk to Lindsey. We'd also do gymnastic tricks off of it, and fish, and made forts, and made school, and jumped, and decorated...

Listening to music in my room-when I was a teen, I started my huge love for music. I would make my sisters come sit in my room and listen to music. By force.

Computer Recordings-We got crazy once we discovered the mic on our computer. We'd re-enact movies and voices and honestly things you'd never believe if I told you

Eating Batter-We loved making birthday cakes, brownies and canned pumpkin pies for mom...problem is, we'd usually eat at least half the batter first.

Sunday Roast-We could always talk our mom into putting in a roast while we were at church. We loved coming home to roast after church!

"A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered , more fundamental self."

~Marian Sandmaier.

Stories:

Puberty & Duct tape

When I hit puberty I didn't handle it well. Some would say I didn't handle it at all. I gained weight like you wouldn't believe & my self esteem hit rock bottom. But before that came the tata's. They came in early and boy did they come. I hated them. Loathed them. In 7th grade my sisters and I loved the movie "Now & Then". There was a scene in that movie most would call "funny"...I called it "brilliant". So, as Becca and Lindsey charged into my room one morning, there I was standing in front of my mirror with duct tape wrapped around my chest. Barely able to breathe deep enough to yell at them to knock!! :)

Lindsey's Fake Runaway

Lindsey was infamous for hating to do chores. She wasn't use to it living with her mother as an only child. So when she was with us, she refused to give in to the "Evil Stepmother" and be "Cinderella". One time, she huffed and puffed and said she was going to run away. Of course we didn't believe her. Until we couldn't find her. After much freaking out, the search party ended with a success. The "victim" had climbed out of her window and hidden on the roof. Vedy Vedy Sneaky.

Grasshopper Hospital

One summer in 19something, we like to call the Grasshopper Infestation. There were literally grasshoppers covering every 3 inches of the sidewalks and driveway. You could barely walk outside without stepping on one and you could hear the crunching as you drove your car. Becca was only a toddler, so grasshoppers jumping up typically landed on her face. Hence, Becca's fear and dislike of grasshoppers to this day. Lindsey, I and some friends decided to "rescue" some of the injured ones we'd find and nurse them back to health. We collected them on our patio and made a hospital. Dumbest thing ever. But we did it.

Lindsey how could you!?

When we lived in the condo, the top flight of our split stairs had a wall on each side of it. One side had a wooden railbar. We loved to run down our hall, lean our arms on the wall and rail, and jump to skip all the stairs and land at the bottom. Well one day I broke the rail. BUT, it was a good split right in the middle. I was able to set the pieces back up and it stayed in place. Later that day, low and behold, Lindsey Loo goes flying down the hall full speed, leans all her body weight on the broken rail and KAPUT!! Our parents were right in the hall and I ran out and gasped, "what'd ya do??!!!" Muahahahaha. Now that's the truth about sisters folks.

Now, the last 3 stories are sentimental ones forever chizzled into my heart.

Lindsey's Trek on the Trike

When I was in kindergarten or 1st grade, Lindsey was about 3. I was at school one day and my mom couldn't find Lindsey. Before she called the cops she started looking all over the neighborhood. With gut instinct, she decided to hop in the car and drive down the main road (Gordon Ave in Layton). To her surprise, about a half mile down the road, ready to cross Fairfield ( a busy street), was my little sister, on a trike...on her way to visit her big sister at school.

"My sister taught me everything I need to know. And she was only in the sixth grade at the time."

~Linda Sunshine

Becca's Sisterly Pain

Becca and I had a different relationship. We were about 8 yrs apart so closeness didn't come easily. We had bonds, but they were different and they were worked at. To this day I believe the majority of our bond comes from an understanding of the shared experiences we had growing up in the same home, as well as finally being on the same page at the same time as adults. But there was one defining moment for me when I realized the bond we had. When I first realized my sister REALLY loved me and that I wasn't some annoying independent, rebellious older sister I always thought she viewed me as. I wasn't always a great example to her, my teen years were rough, and my early adult life didn't exactly depict what I'd had hoped for her. But this moment made it all ok. I was walking toward her room one day, her door was slightly cracked, and I heard her bawling to my mother, tears streaming down her face in pain over things I had gone through. I don't want to share exactly what was said, but it was something to the affect of me not deserving to go through the pain I went through. That it was unfair. That I got it the worst. That I wasn't loved the way I deserved to be. That it hurts her watching me be treated the way that I was. I walked into her room welled up in tears, hopped on her bed, squeezed her tight and said thank you. I'll never forget that moment.

"Whatever you do they will love you; even if they don't love you they are connected to you till you die. You can be boring and tedious with sisters, whereas you have to put on a good face with friends."

~Deborah Moggach

Punishment for One?

Last, this isn't one particular story, but more of a collection of repetetive moments I believe we all hold inside. Unable to control. There is something that sisters and possibly any sibling in general harbor in them...an unexplainable, uncontrollable sibling sympathy. Siblings love to blame. Siblings love to tattle. Siblings have a rivalry and competition that no matter how big or small, somewhat never dies. We've gotten eachother in trouble many times. And many times watched each other get ourselves into trouble. But no matter what the reason, or where the fault, or if we initially loved watching each other "get what we deserved", it ALWAYS hurt to watch. Standing in the corner, nose facing the wall (similar to time out) was a common punishment in our home. And we each knew how awful it felt to get in trouble. There wasn't a time that I watched my sisters standing in the corner that I didn't feel rotten inside and wish I could do something to get them out. We always use to ask eachother about it afterward. We'd talk about how much we hated it and what we watched going on outside the nearby window. We'd share stories of fantasies of running away when we were in the corner (so dramatic I know). And the best part? We'd leave messages for eachother. We'd use our nails or jewelry or nearby object to carve initials or words or smiley faces or stars in the corner of the wall. And the next time we'd stand in the corner we wouldn't feel so alone when we saw those marks from the time before. The last time our sibling was in "pain". I know that sounds so dramatic but that's what it was back then. When you're kids, you feel like it's the biggest deal in the world. When you're watching your sibling hurt in ANY way, you pace the floor thinking of ways to summon an army to come up with an escape plan and help them out. I even remember "risking my life" to ask my parents if my sibling could help me with something. They did the same with me...bargaining and coercing our parents to let each other out of "prison". Ah....sisterhood. It's more like Army Force you never want to break.

My Closing Chapters:

Did Someone Say Adults?

We're adults now...at least that's what our drivers license, pictures and society have told us. But there is something about sisterhood that never quite allows you to view each other any other way than the way you did growing up(meshed with a little of the present). It's put best in the following quotes, and it truly couldn't be more exact:

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."

~Marion C Garretty

"Sisters never quite forgive each other for something they did when they were five. "

~Pam Brown

"A sister shares childhood memories and grown up dreams."

~ Author Unknown

"It's hard to be responsible, adult and sensible all the time. How good it is to have a sister whose heart is as young as your own."

~Pam Brown

and my favorite...

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time."

~Clara Ortega

Our Weddings

My Role

My role as the eldest sister, has always been an uncontrollable focus on peacemaking. If we were fighting, I couldn't sit still, move on or sleep until it was resolved and we were loving again. As a rambunctious child, Becca use to fight this. When she was hurt, she was hurt. When she was pissed off and wronged...there was no changing that fact. And that makes sense. But for me, it always eats me alive until all is well again. Now, as an adult I find myself trying to do the same. But it comes easier these days so my role has molded into the glue. My sisters still come to me when they are bickering with the other and I love to try to do the mending. I am the one who wants to bring us together. Who wants to plan things to keep us together. I love to host parties and get togethers...but nothing quite as much as getting my sisters and family together. It's the one I treasure the most!I have to hold myself back because I want to see them more. But we have busy lives and for now I'm lucky for what I get with them. If it were up to me the 3 of us would be together several times a month.

My Hope

My hope is that we will all work at our relationship collectively. That we'll share our heartaches, vent about our frustrations and gush about our new found happiness. We've all been married off in the last year. It's a new round for us. But I believe we have so much ahead for us with babies and homes and birthdays and camping and trips and boating and holidays...too much to name. I just hope that we get to experience as many of those things TOGETHER. That we'll never lose what we share but only build upon it MORE and lean on EACH OTHER instead of our friends.

My Promise

My promise to the 2 girls Heavenly Father picked for ME, is to never turn you away. To never ignore an opportunity to be together or be a shoulder to lean on. To choose to call my sisters before I call my friends and unload my secrets to the ones that were meant to hold them for a lifetime and not just until fate or distance ends a friend. I allow my life to get too busy. But in the end, who else has been on my right and left arm from jelly shoes to black heels? And who will know me from washing dishes standing on top of a chair to slipping a wedding dress onto my daughter? And that blonde hair I once braided every Sunday morning will one day turn gray. No one else in this world can take the place of you two angels. As I get older, friends come and go...but my sisters are the best and longest and dearest friends I never fear will part. I loved you once, love you still...always have and always will.

"Do you love him more than me? Don't be silly! I could never love anyone more than I love my sisters!"

~Little Women

I love you Lindsey Loo & Becca Boo