I Love These Babies...

...but do they love me? Right now I feel like they're just out to get the best of me! They're definitely scaring me from wanting to ever be pregnant again. And you can take that to the bank.
Trust me I'm a grateful mommy but this is the ugly part and I'm getting it out now before it's over because after all this comes the best parts! It must be awful to be around me right now. I find myself thanking my husband daily for putting up with me. I'm not a whiner...and I'm not really grouchy. I think I'm just so stinkin inhuman right now that I'm ridiculous to be around. Several friends & family have wanted me to share what I have noticed that differs from my first pregnancy...and also why I'm not returning as many texts or phone calls. (sorry) Let me share with you what our "life" has been like the last few weeks:

#1. Most people have cravings AND aversions during pregnancy. I don't. Mine consists of about 95% aversions and 5% things I can actually stomach eating. And here's the kicker-they change every day. So as Erik and I will go through a list of foods trying to find ONE thing that sounds good, we'll go buy it...and one or two days later I can't eat it anymore. He wants to kill me. We literally spent forever in Smith's the other day going up EVERY.SINGLE.AISLE. trying to find me ONE thing I could eat. Isn't it suppose to be the opposite? So frustrating. I want to like food again.

#2. My eating habits have been totally high-jacked! I'm no longer a 2 or 3 big meals a day gal...nope, I have to eat snack portions every 2 hours or I start to get WAY sick to my stomach. I'm not use that at ALL. It's hard to stay stocked up that often...especially when I'm limited to things that sound good.

#3. I have gas. Yes. I said it. Something that in my "normal human life" I would never admit out loud. But I have an excuse. And I can't help it. I don't know why, but 80% of the day I could float in the air. It's unreal how often I fill up.

#4. Odor Alert. Ok so everyone gets this. I had it real bad with Kayson. Hyper-sensitive nasal issues. But they are WAY worse this time. I haven't been able to stay in our kitchen for 5 minutes. I have to close my eyes AND hold my breath if I have to get something out of the fridge. If Erik's not home to help wipe Kayson's rear I end up throwing up after helping him. Every time folks. The other day I walked passed my neighbors CLOSED door and the smell from their dinner spurred on a run to the bathroom. I haven't been able to use ANY of my Scentsy's in a month :(. And going out in public...well, I'm starting to resemble more of a hound dog than a woman.

#5. GAG ME! Never in my life have I had this big of a problem controlling my gag reflex. Remember folks, I've been pregnant before...and I was very sick. STILL doesn't compare to this. One day I told Erik it's LITERALLY like I'm spending about 80% of my day focusing and concentrating on my gag reflex. It's like it's broken. Even if I'm not sick, smelling something or thinking about something, if I let my guard down for a second then it starts up. And you can forget brushing my tongue in the morning with a toothbrush.

#6. For the first time in my life I wish I was a celebrity so I could afford a personal hair dresser and make up artist.

#7. We've moved. Yeah you heard me. We USE to have this cute little clean townhome in Ogden...there are no remnants of it left. Apparently we now live in what seems to be a run down, hurricane, mom of 12 looking version. The housekeeper is long gone.

#8. Although I'm not tired ALL the time like I was with Kayson, I do feel like these Tator Tots are sucking the life out of me. I can't make it up a flight of stairs without feeling like I ran a marathon. And when you have to ask your hubby to "slow down" when he's walking around Wal-Mart you know you've hit a new low. And I don't even LOOK pregnant so I have no excuse. I just look lazy.

#9. Nausea. Other than telling you it's like I've had the flu for 3 straight weeks & still having to show up to work, there's really nothing to say here.

#10. I'm boring. I went almost instantly from being this bubbly energetic party planner always the most hyper and outgoing in the group & coming up with fun activities...to a blob who's always trying to hide and avoid people. It's sad. Really.

You asked for it...now I've spoken my peace & will remain silent and positive for the next 4 weeks.

Ok so aside from these 10 things I wanted to make sure I jotted down, I only have 4 weeks of this part left. 4 from today!!! Knowing that we got the news 4 weeks ago today and that this has seemed like an eternity, I still realize it may not go by so fast. But I don't care...4 weeks is better than 8. And if there's any hope and ray of light at the end of this Twin Terrible Trimester Hell then I'm going to start counting down the days.

I can't wait to feel good and alive and HUMAN again. I can't wait to like food again. I can't wait to start enjoying this pregnancy and planning for them and building the nursery. We have such amazing family both close and far that are helping us get through all of this. I just hope they are able to bear with me until this is done. I'm miserable to be around and hard to get a hold of. I love you all so dearly so please just know it's not really me. You can chew out the twins when they come out if you'd like. haha

On another cute note: Kayson is really catching on to this "twin" thing. He is always pointing out cars and saying "hey mom there's a car the babies will fit in!". I must admit, I'm pretty excited to see how this whole big brother thing plays out. He's not just any big brother now...he gets 2 handfuls! I can't wait to watch this unfold.